Failure
I failed again the other day. I set up a date to do a local citywide yard sale, got a space on Main Street in a nearby town, and collected most of my handmade tables and got a friend to help open my wood yard. I sold a few odds and ends, though I had zero real interest in any of my tables, the point of doing the sale. Yes I had nice comments; gorgeous table, good price, love the legs. No actual action.
The point of all my prep and work was to be able to sell some of the tables I have spent much of the last year working on. I failed. It’s not just a lack of sales, it’s an investment of time, a decision to make tables, to do the design work, the finish work, and how and where I chose to sell them. Some times when I fail at something it’s a learning experience and I just take the lesson and move on. Not so much this time. I went home after cleaning up and cried myself to sleep at about 3:30 in the afternoon. I kept crying for about two days. It’s about 5 days later as I write this now, and I’m finally starting to move on. I’m dreading bringing 11 tables home and letting them just sit around my house until I figure out how to sell them. Sunday I wanted to put them all in a pile and burn them.
At 15 I would have cried for a week and carried the weight for a year. At 25 I would have stuffed my feelings and had them leak out at inopportune moments for years afterwards. At 40 I would have talked about it in counciling for six months at a cost of 3-4 grand. Today, I cry, get angry, plant some seeds, clean my house, allow my feelings to just be.
How to deal with failure is a very personal process. Mine continues to adapt and change, and having a week where my productivity suffers because it matters too much to me that I cannot sell investments of my time and spirit is reasonable. Im not certain what my next step in this process is. Short term I doubt I will invest time into making or selling my tables. It will be a little frustrating to have them stacked all around my house, though short of the bonfire that’s likely my only option. No doubt this daily reminder will bring up my own feelings of inadequacy along with the lack of return on my investment of time and materials.
I feel for you. I bet your tables are gorgeous. I would imagine it's not a fault of the tables, but simply that you haven't explored enough sales options. A one day sale doesn't seem like enough of a data-point to make a final decision from. Are you selling them on Etsy? Have you put links to them on here? Have you asked any local stores to carry them? Have you genuinely explored all sales avenues before you label it 'failure'? How much effort did you put into making the tables compared to how much effort you put into selling them? In my experience, we usually need to put in about as much or more effort into the selling as the making. Just my two-cents worth, forgive me if I'm overstepping. I wish you success!
Your frustration is palpable and profound. You pour your heart and soul into your work and are justly disappointed in they're not selling in Fortuna. That being said…. I cannot count the number of times over the past few years when in conversation on the phone or in person that you explained in painstaking detail the steps you've taken in acquisition, preparation, finishing, curing, problem solving, joining…. All the while through your explanation and detail, I remained enraptured in the story of each and every piece, every minute detail. These exchanges brought me so much joy to hear your passion. In a tangible way, your stories and process have brought me comfort, joy and a deep sense of satisfaction in KNOWING that a dear friend and brother of mine of nearly 40 years was getting to do something that he loved. I'm in an infinitly better place for taking part, if only tangentially in those tables creation. They're creation and your coaxing them into existence is, has and will continue to be a profound gift to me that I'll will carry with me the rest of my days.
When you create, when you're in your power, you empower and inspire me. Though I don't possess them, those tables and their creation are a gift to me. How many artists are recognized in their own lifetime for their greatness? Certainly there are outliers, Picasso, Dali…
How many paintings did the great master Vincent Van Gogh sell in his lifetime… 1. 1 painting for a small sum.. his works now worth untold hundreds of millions, if not billions…
When one is rebuffed in his or her chosen field of art it can lead one to very dark places… a failed Austrian painter named Adolf something comes to mind….
These things are true:
You rightfully feel frustrated and discouraged that your work didn't sell in Fortuna.
Your work is exquisitely crafted and with care, can last for hundreds of years.
Your efforts promised and provided true works of functional art
Having your work sell at a small town street sale was never guaranteed.
Your work has brought me untold joy.
Your buyers are out there. The work has to get in front of the right people.
I love you and I'm sorry you're feeling the way you do.